By Tricia L. Ryan, LPC, NCC
How can you tell when enough is enough?
If you struggle with anxiety and you’re considering starting therapy, you may be weighing the pros and cons in your mind. Maybe you’ve tried counseling before, but weren’t really sure if it helped. Or maybe it feels like one more thing to research and coordinate– and that process sounds overwhelming and intimidating.
As a therapist with over a decade of experience, anxiety is by far the most frequent issue I encounter in my work. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) estimates that over 40 million Americans have some form of an anxiety disorder. But of course, not all of these people have therapists. So how do you know whether you are anxious “enough” to go to therapy?
The short answer is: It’s different for everyone. I would love to give you a less complicated answer, but the best person to determine your sense of wellbeing is you. Only you can truly know the extent to which your anxiety has interfered with your quality of life.
In the mental health world, clinicians use the phrase ‘functional impairment’ to assess the severity of your symptoms. So, a therapist might want to know how much ‘functional impairment’ you experience as a result of your anxiety: How much does your anxiety affect your everyday life? Are you impacted at work? Do your relationships suffer? Do your anxious thoughts sometimes stop you from doing basic tasks, or things you used to enjoy?
But simply answering ‘yes’ to any of these questions isn’t always a clear-cut reason to start therapy. In my experience, people need to reach a decision point on their own when they come to an inescapable realization: Something has to change in my life. I don’t want to continue using unhealthy ways of coping. I don’t want to suffer this way, but I also don’t know how to make it stop. I need help.
Arriving at this pivotal point can be the culmination of a long and painful journey for some people. Particularly with anxiety, the mere thought of being vulnerable with a stranger and sharing your deepest fears can provoke additional anxious thoughts. Sometimes, when a client reaches out to me to begin sessions, it’s because they’ve experienced a recent intense trigger like an upsetting panic attack, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a job opportunity due to their anxiety.
As difficult as those moments can be, they offer the chance for real transformation. I believe this is because the motivation to change is one of the most important factors in knowing whether it’s the right time for you to start therapy. When you are motivated to take that first step, the capacity for meaningful growth is profound. So ask yourself: Am I tired of feeling this way? Am I exhausted from coping with my anxiety alone? Do I believe it’s possible to have a life where anxiety doesn’t control my thoughts and behaviors every day?
Yes, it can feel scary to start therapy. Change is always difficult, and you’ve probably grown accustomed to the ways you’ve been coping on your own. But it can be just as upsetting to consider the prospect of continuing to struggle when you know that help is available.
If you still aren’t sure whether you’re ready to start therapy, I’ve put together a short list of questions that may help you get some clarity. In my practice, I bring years of expertise in guiding clients through the process of unpacking and understanding their anxiety. There are no quick solutions to treating anxiety, but finding a therapist you trust is a great first step.
And if you’re interested in addressing your mental health, but the cost of sessions is a barrier, think about inquiring with your employer to see whether you are eligible for any free sessions through an Employee Assistance Program. Consider joining a free peer support group or check with your school counseling office if you’re currently a student. Other free resources include meditation apps, books about anxiety, and online support groups/forums for people facing similar issues. Finally, you may want to explore a membership at Open Path Collective, which offers a national network of providers and low-cost sessions, both online and in person.
Your path to healing your anxiety begins the moment you decide that change is possible.